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Eyes Pearl Inlays 螺鈿の目
小さな王様にはまだ小さな娘がいた。帝王学を学ばせるか学ばせないか悩むまもなく娘は自分が特別だと思い込んでいたので、人の話はじっと聞くべきだと思っていた。それがどんなに馬鹿らしかろうが、それをそのまま出したり、父親である小さな王様のようにどうでも良いなどと言って遮ることは身を滅ぼしかねないと知っていた。
馬鹿らしい話は時間の無駄だが、父親のように断罪するほとんどの人間は影でいかにも時間の無駄という秘密を抱えているものということも娘は知っていた。時には恥を晒すかのように振る舞うが、それは本当の自惚れで人間は他人の自惚れには不思議と気づいてしまう物だった。
運命は決定づいているのではなく、やはり自由ではないかと思い始めていた。
自分が生まれたのと同じ年に画家の叔父が保養地に逃げたと乳母が休憩室で噂していたのを聞いたからだ。乳母の夫は薬草に詳しく多くの人を助けたが、乾燥させたキノコを飲みすぎていつも考えが偏っていた。娘は警戒しつつ乳母に消えた叔父についてたずねてみようと思った時、乳母の夫がこう言った。
「彼の目は螺鈿のように妙に光っているんだよ。この白目の部分。」
小さな娘は想像しただけでゾッとし、もう叔父のことを考えるのはやめた。
もうひとつ小さな娘が自由がいつも危険な雰囲気を伴っていると感じてしまうのにも理由があった。今は天国にいる母が子供の頃光る水面を見て、あそこで泳ごうと決め誰にも言わずその光を追い川に入るとそのまま川底の砂は形を変えて深くなり、彼女の体を支えるものは何も無くなったかのようになったと言うのだ。水は重力を持って自分を連れ去ろうとする。そこにふと感じた自由がなんの意味を持つのか。印刷して売るためなら自分には必要ないであろうと感じていたが、その時の体温は下がり心も冷たくなっていた。
The little king had a little daughter . Before he could even think about whether or not to let her learn imperialism, his daughter thought she was special and that she should listen carefully to what people had to say. No matter how ridiculous it was, she knew it would be her own undoing to make showing inner world of her or to interrupt like her father, the little king, saying that he didn't care.
She knew that ridiculous talk was a waste of time, but she also knew that most people who condemn like her father do have secrets behind their backs that are a waste of time. Sometimes they act as if they are ashamed of themselves, but they are really conceited, and people are strangely aware of other people's conceit.
The little one was beginning to think that fate was not predetermined, and that she was still free.
She had heard her nanny gossip in the lounge about her uncle, a painter, had run away to a retreat the same year she was born. The nanny's husband was an expert in medicinal herbs and helped many people, but he had too much dried mushrooms and was always biased with his thoughts. The daughter was wary of asking the nanny about her missing uncle, when the nanny's husband said,
“His eyes glow strangely, like mother-of-pearl inlays. The whites of his eyes.”
The little girl was horrified at the thought and stopped thinking about her uncle.
There was another reason why the little girl felt that freedom was always accompanied by an air of danger. Her mother, who is now in heaven, told her that when she was a child, she saw the glowing surface of the water and decided to swim there, and without telling anyone, she followed the light into the river, and as she did, the sand at the bottom of the river changed its shape and became deeper, and it was as if there was nothing left to support her. The water tried to take her away with its gravity. What was the meaning of the freedom she suddenly felt there? She felt that she wouldn't need it to print and sell, but her body temperature had dropped and her chest got so cold reality.
By The Medium Necks
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